Losing my dad AKA Gramps!

Dad passed away this morning about 7:25.  It was the hardest thing to have to go through.  Losing someone is so tough and we thought that once dad got settled into hospice that we would have some time with him. Never did we think that he would be admitted to Our Lady of Peace at 10AM on the 28th and die less than 24 hours later.  Once he was admitted, he never was awake again.

Times with my dad were rough in the past.  But, in the last 5-6 years, he really changed... not everything, but he changed for the better.  We are so lucky that we had so much "extra" time with him after his diagnosis, but it is NEVER enough time.  NEVER.  Life is so precious.  So short.  It goes by so fast though sometimes it feels as if it just drags on.  These last 24 hours have been the hardest hours.  Having to say goodbye to someone that you love is so hard.  Though I hated knowing he was in pain, I hate to have to say goodbye to him even more.  It is selfish.  But I would rather have him here.

Dad got to see so many more things than the VA expected.  He was here to meet Cooper in April of 2011. He got to make it to Jen's wedding in May of 2011 - they did not think he would make it.  They thought maybe we ought to have a "mock wedding."  He made it to Reese's 1st birthday & Kendall's 3rd birthday in May of 2011.  He was around for more birthdays in 2011, 2012.  He made it to being told he was going to be a GRAMPS again & to Tanner being born April of 2013.  Heather's wedding in October 2013.  He got to hear that Drew and Jamie are expecting a baby in February of 2014.  And to hear that it is TWINS in March of 2014!  He was so excited.  We were skiing that day and he must of called me 7 times.  He NEVER left messages and he left a few that day... and I erased them (and am so sad that his voice is not on my phone to hear!).  When I spoke with him about it, he was so excited and I said, "another goal to look forward too being around for."  Yet, his answer was very quiet, he knew he would not be here.  Shortly after they found out it was twins, I was over visiting him.  He looked like he was thinking about something, so I asked "whatcha thinking about?"  He said, "Jamie."  I said, "what are you thinking about Jamie for (Drew's wife)?"  He responded "Who's going to watch after her?  Who's going to help with the babies?"  I told him, through my tears, that "Drew would.  Drew will make sure she is taken care of."  I could sense the sadness.

There is a song out there by Justin Moore.  It is probably a few years old.  It has always brought tears to my eyes everytime I hear it, now I am sure that it will bring them even more.  It is called "If Heaven Wasn't so Far Away."

"If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away"

Every day I drive to work across Flint River bridge

A hundred yards from the spot where me and grandpa fished

There's a piece of his old fruit stand on the side of Sawmill Road

He'd be there peelin' peaches if it was twenty years ago

And what I wouldn't give

To ride around in that old truck with him

If heaven wasn't so far away

I'd pack up the kids and go for the day

Introduce them to their grandpa

Watch 'em laugh at the way he talks

I'd find my long lost cousin John

The one we left back in Vietnam

Show him a picture of his daughter now

She's a doctor and he'd be proud

Then tell him we'd be back in a couple of days

In the rear view mirror we'd all watch 'em wave

Yeah, and losing them wouldn't be so hard to take

If heaven wasn't so far away

I'd hug all three of those girls we lost from the class of '99

And I'd find my bird dog Bo and take him huntin' one more time

I'd ask Hank why he took those pills back in '53

And Janis to sing the second verse of "Me and Bobby McGee"

Sit on a cloud and visit for a while

It'd do me good just to see them smile

If heaven wasn't so far away

I'd pack up the kids and go for the day

Introduce them to their grandpa

Watch 'em laugh at the way he talks

I'd find my long lost cousin John

The one we left back in Vietnam

Show him a picture of his daughter now

She's a doctor and he'd be proud

Then tell him we'd be back in a couple of days

In the rear view mirror we'd all watch 'em wave

Yeah, and losing them wouldn't be so hard to take

If heaven wasn't so far

If heaven wasn't so far

If heaven wasn't so far away

So far away

So far away

Wouldn't it be nice to visit?  Not to really have to say goodbye.  Saying goodbye is so hard.  I love you Dad and I will miss you so much!  Gone, but not without memories of your time here with us!  

A terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Dad has been very good for the past few weeks.  He was having some additional pain so they upped the dose of his LONG morphine strength.  After this, he became more sleepy.  He has also started to "see things" or makes no sense when he talks.  We attributed this to both the increase in the morphine but also changes in the cancer.  Last night he became really aggitated with me when I tried to help him get in bed.  He wanted me to help him, but when I tried he became mad and constantly was telling me to "just stop it, Jodi, just stop it."  He feels as though people are out to get him.  It is terrible.  It is horrible.  The cancer is really starting to "win."  He has battled so long, so brave, so hard but he is just starting to break down.  It is such a helpless feeling.  Watching your parent...suffer.  Nothing can make it better.  Nothing can make him better and that just sucks.  Plain old sucks.  Cancer is a horrible disease.  What it does to people and to those people around them.
Grandma said that last night, dad needed to tell us that he wants to go into the hospice care facility.  We can't just make him.  But, last night after I left, she was up all night with dad - he was refusing to take his med's (I don't blame him, he has a lot of pills and when he misses some that is a lot of pills to take) and telling her that it is "over."  So, the spiritual person, Jude, from the hospice house, came to visit dad and they have decided that he will be admitted to the hospice house, possibly permanently.  We all know that Grandma can't take care of him anymore, if he falls, she can't help him up.  He is confused.  This is the best place for him at this stage of his cancer.  But, it does not make it any easier.  Still STINKS.  We know that they will care for him so well.  So many people have said that they are so compassionate.  So caring.  But, I am still losing my dad and the kids are losing their grandpa, grandma is losing her oldest son, Janet and Ron are losing their BIG brother, people are losing their friend.
We know of 2 other people that are also battling with cancer right now - Dave's uncle, Bonnie's husband Ken and Dave's cousin, Mark, who is only like 45-50 years old.  It is so hard.

National Waffle Day!

I bought a George Foreman grill with grill plates that can be switched out.  I have not used them much (at all!) so I saw something that said it was National Waffle day today, so I used the waffle plates to make some chocolate chip waffles!  They were way tastier than Eggo waffles!

Visit with my dad

Dad has been struggling lately.  I told dad that I would come over and visit tonight.  I called Grandma to let her know that I would be coming over and to see if they needed anything.  Pumpkin pie?  A shake or cheeseburger from McDonald's?  Dad said that  cheeseburger would be nice - though he would have rather had a breakfast sandwich (too bad they don't make those at night too?).  So I grabbed a few cheeseburgers and a chocolate shake just in case.

When I got to the house, she let me know that dad had been standing in the bathroom for over a 1/2 hour.  He did not want to get out of the bathroom.  I got him to go in his room and sit in the chair.  He was way behind on his med's - he was able to take a few of the pills but did not want the remainder.  I didn't blame him.  There was like 12 pills and he was not doing well.  Who wants to take all those?

He pretty much slept but would occassionally wake and talk to me a little.  I tried to help him into bed about 10:30 and he was really confused.  And mad.  I hate to admit it, but i was a little frustrated.  He wanted me to help him get in bed, but then when I tried to help him, he got mad.  I know that it is the cancer.  It is winning this battle with his body.  And it really stinks.  BIG TIME.

Little did I know that when I left this night, it would be the last time I would talk with him.  I hope that I told him that I loved him when I left.

Teagan's bowling party! Uncle Tommy's got traded!

Teagan is 13 so today we went bowling for her birthday though it is a little late!  The kids had a blast then we went and had some lunch at The Village!

Nana doing some bowling, wish I would have gotten her little "hop" that she does...ALWAYS!

Silly Tanner pulling on Joe's hat!

Sisters!

The birthday girl!

I have a photo like this of Drew picking up Tommy by his head too!

Teagan got some outdoor stuff from us.  She has wanted a football for a while, now she finally has one to play some catch!

Uncle Tommy's been playing hockey for a long time!  We try to make it to a game a session but he plays a lot of late games so sometimes it is hard to get to one.  Even though we were just at the BD party, we headed to Tommy's game since they are in Blaine anyway.

Dawson noticed that he was wearing a different jersey this time and said to me "Uncle Tommy got traded, he is not with the WILD anymore!"  Dawson has believed that he plays for the "WILD" since they have the logo on their jerseys but this round they got Killebrew Rootbeer to sponsor them so no more Wild logo on their shirts!  The kids have fun watching though they also think that bleachers are so fun to play and run on!  They need seat belts for the kids on the bleachers!

 Nice stop Uncle Tommy!  Reese watching Uncle Tommy in the nets!

Kendall-isms

Tonight as I was helping Kendall with her homework I noticed that some of her 3's and 7's backwards.  Some are correct, some are not correct.  Occassionally the 5's are backwards also.  Instead of just telling her which was right or wrong, I said "see these 2, which one is right?"  She pointed to one - said "this one?"  My response "nope, that is the one that is backwards."  To which she responded, "oh, I never know which one is right-wards!"

Cronuts from Sam!

Clothespin game! FROZEN!

The kids love to play the clothespin game, so today we took it out.  It was cool outside and this is a fun thing to do!  Last time they played mom got out her skills and got 15/15 in the mason jar!  Yeah, baby!

You can't quite tell in this photo, but Cooper has BOTH his eyes CLOSED!  He noticed the kids were using one eye to judge where to drop the pin and I guess he figured he would beat them by closing both eyes!  Dawson concentrating, notice his tongue?

Reese's mad skills!  Love this face!  Kendall's got the good form going on!

Disney's FROZEN came out yesterday so when I picked CJ up at his dad's house, we stopped by Target to get the movie.  I wasn't sure they would even have any left in stock, but they had plenty.  So, we told the kids to get all ready for bed and that daddy had an "old" movie he wanted them to watch.  I was expecting a little more of a reaction then what we got, but they were excited to see it again!  It is such a cute movie, heck I am excited to see it again!

Kendall showed the most reaction!  Surprising!?

Teagan is a TEEN!

Teagan is THIRTEEN!  Hard to believe that 13 years ago she was just a tiny little peanut.  Happy birthday Teagan!

Gramps took this photo of her at our wedding in September of 2005.  Look at what a cutie she was!  Now she is a lovely teenage girl with the attitude to prove!  ;)

Auntie Heather and I tried to coordinate a trip to the Dells for a few days and it just did not work.  So they took Carter and one of Teagan's other friends, Kristina for a night.

Dinner at some Moose place...Carter and all the girls!

Grandma Forliti's dagos!

We typically have hot dagos on Christmas Day with Nana and Pop-Pop.  They have bought them from a local store in the past but this year they decided to make them (they have been really spicy the past few years).  The used Grandma Forliti's recipe.  They were good but they could use just a little more spice.  I decided to make them.  Make them and have them simmer for a while.  I might try to use spicy italian sausage instead of mild.

I love you Reese!

This morning Reese and Cooper were walking down the stairs together.  I was in the kitchen eating a banana when I hear Cooper tell Reese "I love you Reese" to which she says back to him "I love you too!"  Oh so cute... as I currently hear them yelling at one another!  :)

Another funny Cooper-ism that I hear when he uses the toilet in the basement - he loves that the "toilet closes by itself."  He tells me this EVERY time he uses the basement bathroom as it is one of those anti-slam toilet seats so it closes slowly when you push it down slightly!

This photo was taken last April, but it is so sweet so I had to put it in here!  They do love each other, but on the other hand, they often act like siblings!  

OMG and A beautiful day on the Mountain!

Jamie was having an ultrasound today.  She told me the other day that she has been having nausea all day with this pregnancy.  I sent Jamie a text @ 8:51 this AM - told her that I thought they would hear TWO heartbeats this morning since she has been feeling "different" with this pregnancy.

She sent back a text @ 9:07AM saying "Thank you!  You are funny...that would be crazy!!!  I will let you know how it goes :) "

I got a call back from Drew at 10:15AM and he says, " so take a guess!?"  

OH my gosh!  TWINS!!!!  Wahoo!  I cannot imagine having TWO babies at the same time but I am so excited (glad it is them, not me ;)!  I am hoping that Jamie gets a little girl out of these 2 babies, but I know most important is TWO healthy babies!  I have a feeling it is going to be one BOY and one GIRL as the US tech said that they will probably be fraternal twins.  October seems so far away & Drew really does not want to find out the sex of them (he didn't even before they found out there was TWO!).  Poor Auntie Jamie, 2 babies and pregnant over the summer!

We were skiing at the time, dad called me like 5 or 6 times because he was so excited!

Dave, Dawson and Kendall coming down the terrain park.  

Reese was more interested in pulling Tanner in the sled than she was skiing, though she did show Nana and Pop-pop her skills a few times!

Love these 2 photos!  The girls holding hands (someday I can use this as bribery!) and Pop-Pop hanging out with Tanner and Reese!  

Dawson thinking he is cool going backwards down the hill!

Carter has been working on spinning down the hill.  There were more times that he stayed upright but this was too good of a photo to not post on here.  The smile that he has on his face.  The snow flying up off his board!  

The boys heading up the hill

Reese was waving at Kendall on the hill!

Miss Kendall doing stunts on the hill!

Tanner enjoying the sun and the nice weather.  Someday he will be out here learning to ski!  Or snowboard!

Mill City Museum with 1st graders!

Today I got to go on a field trip with Dawson's class to the Mill City Museum.  I have never been there and of course neither had Dawson!  I actually thought we were going to a play, so this was a change for me!  :)  It is a pretty neat place with a fun history.  We got to watch a movie about how the city of Minneapolis was "born!"  I guess I did not realize that it truly became a city because of the flour mills being able to built along the river (which in turn back in the late 1800's was the energy source).  The building is so neat.  It was fun to be able to see what it looked like back when it was a flour mill.  Luckily for the museum the MN Historical Society wanted to save what they could when it had a fire back in it in the early 90's.
After taking a look around the museum and taking a ride on the elevator (to learn the history of the mill and all the floors in the building and what was on them at one point) the kids got to go in the Baking Lab!  They got to make some drop biscuits and later, after learning about the process of making wheat into flour) they got to eat their work!

My group of kids was a pretty good group.  I can see though, how Dawson's teacher is a little frustrated with some of the behavior of kids in her class.  Even though she only has 21 kids, a few of them are quite a handful.  All in all it was a fun day spent with Dawson - I was TIRED when we got home!  Looking down towards the "burned out ruins" of the old mill...and a little bit of the river and the Stone Arch Bridge!

 

A little white...er, pink, Kendall lie

Kendall has been an avid "collector" of stuff off the bus since she started kindergarten.  She has come home with beads & shiny things, ponytail holders & lipbalm (icky, icky!!!!), snacks that her friends have "given" her (or maybe she has asked them we just don't know), numerous rainbow loom bracelets and so on.  Today after getting home, she was in the house about 30 seconds and she proceeded to tell me that it was Katherine's birthday and for her treat she gave the girls a pink "gem" and the boys a blue "gem."  Well, upon later inspection in the day, due to Kendall's gem being shoved in her ear, I noticed that this "gem" was just some metal-type disc that like fell off a backpack or something like that.  At that point, I confronted her and said that this "gem" was NOT something that she got for Katherine's birthday.  It was something that she found on the bus again & that I could call her teacher Mrs. Farid and ask her if it was true that Katherine brought these "gems" for all the kids in the class.  She looked me right in the eye and said, "will I get in trouble if I tell you?"  Me:  "you need to tell me the truth."   Kendall: "Well, I didn't find it on the bus...mumble, mumble something."

Carter's invention!

Carter had to do an invention for school for STEM class.  We recently had Cookie Dough Oreos (okay but not my favorite - they tasted a little "coffee-ish" which isn't bad when you are drinking coffee but not the best in Oreos!) so Carter thought why not Cookie Dough Oreo brownies!  We found a recipe for basic brownies on-line then he crushed up Oreos and added them to the mix.  Once they were done baking he also added them to the frosting.  We had to try a tiny sample from on the corner - not bad though VERY sweet!
After school he brought back a pan of brownies that was semi-destroyed.  I thought at first it was due to 7th graders, but it was actually due to the fact that they stuck to the pan (I guess we didn't grease enough!).  He said that his classmates LOVED them.  So, I guess this invention was a success!  One more year of STEM class crossed off the boards for Carter!

Exciting news for the Greene Gang!

Drew sent me a text today with this photo attached to it.  I was pretty confident I knew what they were telling me but I could not figure out the 09 and the 11 since Boston's birthday is the 30th of April and Cooper's is the 8th... duh, it is the year they were born!  So, so excited to be an "Auntie" all over again!

Now the big question...

Boy...

 or Girl???